No Regrets.                                    

I managed to shower today! It was a quick shower (translation: no washing hair, in and out, never ending line of kids and dogs in and out of bathroom asking about breakfast, tv shows and where is my teddy?) Nevertheless, I showered. I see that as my first major accomplishment today. Its going to be a great day moms!

So, my point in all this is, while in the shower I got to thinking. It was a quick 30 second thought and in it was a snapshot of my life. Along with that came all the "what if's". We all play that game some times. Its a dangerous slippery slope that can quickly lead to doubts of self worth and self accomplishment. It causes us to wonder what our lives would have been had we.....
Now, just as a disclaimer - I am not talking about our kiddos. I have never wondered what my life would be like without them. I already know - empty. However, I do sometimes wonder if things would be different if I had done a certain thing, or not done a certain thing. Don't we all?

"What if I played a certain sport as a kid?"
"What if I did better in school?"
"What if I went to that collage, or to college at all?"
"What if I finished college and actually used the degree I thought I wanted?"
"What if I took that job, or went on that trip?"
"What if I stayed in that job, or got promoted?"
"What if......"

So as my thoughts reeled from all my what if's I realized in that split second that I needed to stop. I am exactly where I was intended to be. My life's path, my choices, my experiences all lead me to where I am right now.

Moms, we are HERE. We are the most important person in our child's life. We are the exact mom that our children need. And, guess what?  Our paths, the road we did take, shaped us.

What are you going through right now? Trips to the doctors, trips to Children's Hospitals, specialists, IEP's, behavior issues, therapists, bullies, learning difficulties, teenage drama, pregnancy, newborns, difficult stages, sleepless nights, etc.

 Each child has his or her own exact needs and guess what mom?! He or she was meant for YOU. You are precisely where you are meant to be. You have been chosen to be your little one's best advocate. Support system. Champion. Your road in life has brought you here. Your little ones need you - right here, right now.

So, while it is tempting to look back and wonder - "what if" - do not let that cloud your mind or heart. There is always the future. You can still finish that degree - you can still travel or start working out or pick up a sport. We are young and full of energy! (okay - so I'm a jokester, its still early!) But, seriously, we still have our whole lives ahead of us - our babies need us for just a short while (though its hard to see that in the thick of it). For now mom - take joy in the fact that the road you traveled brought you here. Here to be mom to these amazing little blessings and to help shape their road through life. You have what it takes to walk your child down their difficult paths - you are exactly who you need to be and where you need to be. Don't ever doubt that. Enjoy today mom - right where you are.

Sibling.........LOVE?                                              

"That's mine!"
"He hit me!"
"She's in my rooooooooom!"
"MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Ahhhh, the joy of siblings. Brothers will be brothers. They will tease, torment and beat up their siblings. Sisters will be sisters, they will tattle, scream and annoy to death their brothers and sisters. Always. Right? I mean, that's like saying ice cream is cold or its hot during summer. Its the way its always been and the way it will always be! Eventually, with enough prayers on Mom's part, hopefully they will grow up to some day love each other.......right?
WRONG!
I totally. completely. disagree.
Its how they are raised.
How often do I hear mom's say - "oh, I let them sort it out, they have to learn how to get along" or "oh these two kids are driving me crazy!"
No, they are not going to just learn how to get along. And, all kids drive us crazy sometimes, but it shouldn't be because they are related. Kids are not going to just sort out their problems. Putting them in an over sized t-shirt to "get along" is not the answer.
So, what is? I mean, how do we solve this age old problem of bickering brothers and sisters?
By parenting them. Deliberately and intentionally. Now, I am not saying every time there is a raised voice you go running in. Of course not. But, kids at age 5, 6, 7, 8 - they do not have the negotiating skills, the self control or the empathy they need automatically built in. They do not YET cherish the relationship they are in with their brother or sister. But, they can learn to. Love CAN be learned.
And, moms and dads that's OUR job! Its our job to teach them how to share, love, have patience, cherish their loved ones, respect each other's property, show compassion, act in love.
When my two oldest begin to have a problem, I am there. I am aware- most of the time, of what is going on. I am listening. I am waiting. Once I see where its headed I WILL step in. To teach. I get down to their level. I speak to both, one-on-one and explain how they could have handled things differently. They learn how the other one must have felt during the argument or fight. They ask each other for forgiveness. They are told, over and over and over that they are BROTHER AND SISTER. They will be best friends for ETERNITY. Other friends will come and go. My little blessings will be in a relationship forever.

Getting along is not an instinct. Its not something we are born with. It is something that has to be taught to us. The importance of a relationship has to be shown us. If we are teaching our children that loving each other matters, that respecting each other, forgiving each other matters, then our children will become more than just related. They will become best friends. They will become what God intended brothers and sisters to be. They will be each others support network. When they are grown and go through life's trials and difficult times.....they will have each other to lean on. They will lift each other up, instead of tearing each other down. 

So, yes - siblings will fight, they will argue and they will drive you nuts!  But, take the time out to parent them when this happens. Don't just chalk it up to kids being kids. It is a major opportunity to teach them how to love - and the importance of family. As a homeschooling mom this is a lesson we relearn every, single day. It can be exhausting! I feel like I am saying the same, exact thing every single day. That's because I am!  That's my job. Over and over and over. Teach, show, love, forgive. Over and over and over. And, some days I see little glimmers of hope - a random act of kindness, an afternoon of playing happily together, a loving word, or a goofy hug. I know my children love each other, and they are learning how important that is, and how to show it.

Wierd, Unsocialized Homeschoolers!

                                                      

Yup - that's us! How did I even get here? I have 3 children that I homeschool! Who does that!? Well, I do. And, guess what? My kids are normal (well, as normal as they can possibly be with a wacky momma like me!) They are social, silly, athletic (well, at times - then my genes kick in and then they are "graceful") kind, compassionate children.

Today's post is about our schedule - our normal daily routine that encompasses school, chores and life. But, as I began this I realized there is a whole back story to our journey down this homeschool road. Another blog for another time. I know many of you have your doubts and many of you are intrigued - while others of you are considering homeschooling your own littles.

Just know this, and then I will get on with the schedule. I am, and always have been, the most unorganized, undisciplined, impatient, "not homeschooling material" kind of mom ever. Yep. Seriously. I can't keep my bills in a neat pile, forget school work, books and papers! I am not disciplined enough to walk a dog every day or participate in any kind of exercise program - let alone run a classroom from my home! And for the record, patience is not one of my strengths - I really really need grace everyday and strength from above to accomplish the job of the patient homeschooling momma.
That being said, I homeschool. I love it. I have my doubts, failures, successes, sob fits, tranquil moments and immeasurable joy as I teach my children about life and God's incredible world. So - trust me. No one is "cut out" to homeschool.  But, we are given grace, strength and patience to try again every morning!

All righty - here is a sample schedule (**disclaimer, schedule changes at a moments notice, no two days are the same and everything rests on the shoulders of a certain toddler, her mood and nap time!!!**)

5:30/6:00 am - I usually wake up with a start. No alarm needed. Maybe someone tiptoed into my room and stared at me creepily (wth?! why do kids do that!?) willing me to wake up. Or baby wanted an early morning snack. Or I dreamt my husband slept through his alarm. Either way, I am up. I grab a cup of coffee, flip open the laptop and peruse Facebook to wake up. Then I check out a Crosswalk devotion for the day (very helpful when you realize the kind of day I will have! wink wink) I may check out my plan book for each kiddo and then look up some activities that may coincide with a certain lesson.

6:30/7:00 - someone is up. Sometimes all three, sometimes one, two.. . who knows. I do make my littles stay in their rooms until 7 (7:30 on weekends) but somehow someone ends up on the couch looking over my shoulder! Lately tv has been going on just to give me a couple more minutes to look over a certain blog before I quickly publish it!

7:00/7:30 - Breakfast time. Kiddos have cereal on weekdays (more fun on weekends) to keep things simple. If the baby is still asleep (depending on whether there was an early morning snack!) I will sit with kids at table and do Bible. We use a great little curriculum that I found online for free. Its perfect for teaching them the great stories of the Bible and the faith lessons behind each story. Click  here to check it out, it is by Sheila Scroggins at calverymv.com. 

8:00-9:30'ish - at this time we do any number of different things. Kids are getting dressed, washed, making beds and doing chores. In order to have a functioning household everyone participates in the management of our home. My kids start at a very young age doing chores, usually around 2. By the time they are 5 and 7 they can clean bathrooms, empty dishwashers, fold some laundry, sweep, vacuum, etc. This is another blog for another time, but is a critical aspect in raising littles to be functioning, responsible members of society. It is also critical to my sanity and well being. Enough said. I will try to get some dinner in the slow cooker at this point as well. The baby is up, eating and now creating chaos in her wake.

9:30/10'ish - My 7 year old will start some of his independent work. As a second grader he is able to now do some things independently (whoo hoo!!) I will put everything together in his folder and write it all down on the white board. It usually includes his reading, cursive, phonics practice papers and math on the computer (he uses Teaching Textbooks a computer program math that he loves!). My 5 year old will at this time usually play with the baby, do puzzles, color, play doh, or if baby is cooperating she and I will read together or go over her phonograms. For her reading program we use The Writing Road to Reading - a bit complicated but an incredible foundation and tool to have for reading and writing.
Kids will have a snack around 10:30 and I will usually be down in school room with the baby and 5 yo at this time. There is more playing (sand table, art projects, audio books, etc) My 7yo has a quiet place in his room where he can go to do his work and the girls don't bother him.

11:30/12 - Depending on when my littlest little woke up, she goes down for a nap around now. If we were a normal family she would wait till maybe 12:30/1 but I need my teaching time with the kids! So, during nap time the kids and I work very hard to do teacher led school work (usually we bring lunch downstairs with us!) Of course, never fear,  there are many breaks during the day! Lots of Lego playing and general fun ~ its homeschool!
 I do spelling and grammar with biggest little and spelling and reading with middle little. You will notice most of our time and energy is spent on Reading, Writing and 'Rithmatic. The foundation of a good education is being able to read, write and do math. Science and History are fantastic - but only if you can comprehend what you read and can compute your findings!
(**side note**
I will be schooling year round. We will do mainly the core subjects during the "school year" and will continue on with science, history, geography and reading during the summer months. We still do a lot of that stuff now, but the pressure is not as great to "cram it all in" and gives me more flexibility to focus on the core subjects. Being as this is my first year homeschooling it is one of learning for me as well. I am learning where I need to stress, and where I don't! What I need to "make" my kids do, and what I don't.)


1:30/2:00- around this time baby is up and we are usually off to do either Lego Lab, or gym or baseball or gymnastics, playing in the snow, errands or a play date! Phew! You mean, they aren't locked up in an attic? You mean they are happy, well-adjusted, fun loving, good kiddos?!
Get out of here!

4:00'ish - Back home from our activities and I start to feel a little panic about dinner and the end of the day. My 5yo will usually sit at the kitchen table and play on the computer at this point,  math games or phonics games. We love this site  for fun, online learning activites. My 7yo will finish up any work he has, review for any tests or finish up any chores. Then he will play on his tablet or occasionally I will put on a show like the Magic Schoolbus or Wild Kratts.

**disclaimer*** though this all sounds lovely, chaos begins....now. This is our witching hour, where my world get nutso and kids run wild. It happens. To the best of us. I find a nice glass of wine (or two!) helps immensely.

5:00/5:30 - Daddy comes home! YIPPPPEEEEE! Best. Part. Of. My. Day. Hands downs!
5:30-7:30  - family dinner, clean up, baths, stories, (occasionally we will all watch Cutthroat Kitchen, a family favorite!) and bed!

Then I collapse in a heap on the couch in the arms of my best friend. We catch up on a few shows and I stumble to bed around 9:30-10.

I try to do a lot of my lesson planning on the weekends, and Saturdays are a big"clean the house" day.

So, there you have it. A "kind of schedule"! It really does change from day to day but this is roughly how I fit it all in. I am sure I forgot something, probably something that's actually very important. But, we probably do it during the day without even thinking about it!

Homeschooling is the hardest, and most amazing thing I have ever done. I could never do it on my own. I have the love and support of my husband, and an Almighty God who is with me every step of the way. I adore having my children home with me, I love watching them learn, grow and enjoy life. I love being able to help them choose the activities they want to participate in. Homeschooling has brought my children closer (they are best friends), my family closer and me closer to God (seriously, you just can't do this alone!).

So, I will have more on homschooling in the future; the why and the how! But, for now, hope you have enjoyed a glimpse into a flexible day in the life of a weird, unsocialized homeschooling family!

                                                         

 

                                    My tranquil moments......blissful!

                                    Sisters and brothers can be best friends......
                                                  

                                                  My littlest scholar!

                                      My beautiful "before dinner" mess!

                                                Sand table fun.....

Plans? What Plans?

                                        
Well, this next blog was supposed to be an awesome blog documenting our day to day activities as exciting homeschoolers.
Hm.
Instead, I have a snotty, feverish toddler hanging on my elbow and trying to crawl under the computer onto my lap (and not really watching Baby Einstein) while I try to hold my eyes open long enough to finish a couple sentences.
 My littlest little was diagnosed with the flu yesterday - totally awesome. This was so not in my plans for the week. We took our February vacation last week while Daddy was away. This week we were heading back to school. Changing that plan. I was super excited to get back to the blog - hard to do over a weekend and holiday with the hubby home (he is SO distracting! wink wink!). Changing up that plan. Had awesome things planned a couple nights this week - and fun daytime activities for the kids - changing those plans.

Do you ever feel that as a parent there is sometimes very little point in planning anything?! Birthday parties, weekend getaways, play dates, Valentines Day!? Sometimes we have the most amazing things planned and well - a little gets sick. A toddler melts down. A husband has to work. Or, worst of all - a husband gets sick! (yikes!) Most of the time I take it in stride. Occasionally though, I want to stomp my feet and cry and scream because its so not fair!

So, I guess this particular blog is just an "I feel ya" blog. Its meant to be a hug in the middle of chaos. Especially for all of you enjoying vacation this week, remember your day today is NOT going to go as planned! Our children are most certainly not going to follow our schedule of events perfectly! They are going to melt down in the middle of the grocery store, throw up in the library, misbehave at the restaurant and probably cause us to redo our "list" a couple times - today!

But, you know what? That's ok. Cause its not about the plans, vacations or play dates. Its about them. Its about using our limited time with these little blessings wisely. Its about letting each day speak for itself. A new morning, a new plan. Our "job" isn't to plan play dates or music lessons, its not to make sure our littles get to each activity. Our job is to be a mom. That's it. That's everything. Mom. Our plans will come and go, but today, tomorrow - its about being mom.

So, as I watch my sweet little now sucking on a popsicle in her highchair (yeah, its 6am but hey, I was desperate!) and I vividly remember my very sleepless night, I know that the most important thing I can do today is to let go of my plans. Go with the crazy flow. For those of you taking care of sick kiddos - hang in there moms! It is so incredibly frustrating! We have all been there. For those of you on vacation this week - don't try to cram it all in ~ remember, the special moments are usually in the down time. The "unplanned" time. For those of you just trying to survive this week - you are so not alone. Just take a deep breath and remember to be flexible!

Maybe tomorrow or Friday I will post our schedule, maybe not! Either way - today I am going to try to just let my focus be "mom". I am not going to try to accomplish anything else - trust me, I have my work cut out for me! lol Have an awesome day moms, and enjoy these vacation days with your littles! They don't have enough of them.

~Beauty is in the eye of a child~

                                       

                                        
My middle daughter is 5 years old and one of our recent favorite activities is dancing around the living room to the soundtrack of the new Disney movie "Frozen". We especially love the song "Let It Go" and waltz around like a couple of crazy Frozen princesses. Well - the other night we collapsed breathless and giggling on the couch (ok, fine - I was breathless - she was giggling) and she looked at me and said -
 "Oh mommy! You are SO beautiful!"

PRESS PAUSE

I can react a couple ways here but only one will preserve my daughter's image of me as her mother and her as a young woman.
I could look at her and say -
       "oh yeah, goooorgeous. All I need is a few highlights, a pound taken off my eyebrows and to stand on my head to even things out! Then, my sweetheart,  I will entertain the beautiful thought."
And, there - in that few seconds my sweet daughter will realize that her momma is not the beautiful momma that she loves and adores more than anything. She will realize that even though in her eyes I am beautiful, in my eyes I am in desperate need of make up, repairs and a gym membership.

As moms we kind of go through a lot, emotionally and physically. Sleepless nights, human beings growing inside of us (exiting in the most terrifying, miraculous event of our lives), worry lines, laugh lines, no time for hair appointments and lets just add to that the inability to keep an outfit clean. Sigh. Of course we want to set these naive little ones straight! "NO, Mommy is most certainly NOT beautiful right now. IF you would stop waking me up at night and wiping your boogers on me I may stand half a chance!"

But, moms - guess what? They are waaaatching us! Our sweet, impressionable daughters. They are watching our every move, listening to our words - taking it all to heart and tucking it away. It will be brought out again. Our hearts will sink as we hear our beautiful little blessing, at 10 years old, look in the mirror and say she's getting fat. Or when our 9 year old thinks she really needs make up because she isn't pretty. This will begin a lifetime of that nagging doubt about herself. When a mom has doubts, a daughter mimics. After all, to a little girl - her mom is the first image of what being a woman is all about.

And, guess what? Moms with sons - we are not in the clear! I will sometimes catch my 7 yo son watching me put on make up -  he'll shyly grin and walk away - but he watches and hears me too! He will hear my complaining and will slowly discover that I am not the beautiful mom he adores, that physically I am far from perfect. My son, the little one we are trying to raise into a man. Am I teaching him that beauty is not the picture perfect Disney princess? Am I teaching him that beauty is the woman who loves with all her strength, prays with all her heart and works tirelessly every day for her family?

Now, here is  a little disclaimer - this post is not saying stop putting on make up, forget trying to be healthy or exercise - or that yoga pants 24/7 is a good thing (maybe just 14/7?) I am a real mom, remember?! I am just saying that its something to keep in mind when commenting on our appearances in front of our littles.
As a mom to 2 little girls and a little boy I made the conscious decision a few years ago to try to never complain about my body, or the way I was made, in front of my children. My body type, style, my aging, my weight, my GOD designed body. I may complain to my sweet husband occasionally but not in front of my girls - or my little boy. How can I teach them that they are beautiful, unique creations and in the same breath discredit the Maker by criticizing the way I was made?

Fast Forward- here was my response to my daughters amazingly sweet declaration - "Thank you sweetie, you are beautiful too!"

So, moms, remember - to your children, you are the most breathtakingly, beautiful woman in their world (for now anyway!). These impressionable little girls need a momma who is a strong, confident woman, one who sees the beauty in the body she has at this very moment, the body she was given. These sweet little boys need learn what true beauty is - and their very first example is mommy. You are beautiful mom, choose to believe it and act on it - and that will set the path for generations to come.

Psalm 139:13-14

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

**you can find me on facebook now at www.facebook.com/blessingsgraceandwine**

Just Keep Swimming!

 

               I use to think that drowning was only something one could do in water. That feeling of barely being able to keep your head up - and this incredible weight just pulling you down......water right? Um, yeah - nope. Sometimes, ok - a lot of times, I feel that by 10am I am just treading water  - when I woke up at 7am ready to join the high dive team. How did I go from here to there in just 3 hours?
For those of you who don't know, I am somewhat of a control freak. I like to drive - even when my husband is with me! No, its not because he is a little more "cautious" when taking turns.....or accelerating, or because he comes to a complete stop at a stop sign and then looks left, right, then left, right and left again......(hey man, I'm a momma, I have places to be!!) I don't mind flying but I do have that momentary hesitation that just maybe I could fly the plane better...... and when it comes to getting the kids geared up for playing in the snow - there is "a certain way" to do it! There just is!
Okay, so I have some minor control issues - something that made perfect sense when I finally realized it a few weeks ago... But, this is something that clearly has an affect on my day to day life.

Sometimes its a constant struggle to have things I "need" to do, boxes on my list that NEED to be checked off. I need to get the laundry all folded and put away, I NEED to change the linens, I NEED to get groceries, I NEED to get 7 subjects covered in school today, I NEED to figure out dinner. I NEED to get this house cleaned up!
So, at 7am - there it is. My schedule and list for the day. Written out perfectly, planned and ready to be put into action. So, by 10am, when my head starts pounding, and we are still in pjs trying to at least get the dishwasher emptied. . . . I feel that slow heavy pressure start. This is not what I planned. We were supposed to be dressed and cleaning up the house and folding laundry while whistling and singing and we were supposed to be crankin' out this school work while the baby happily played (without making a disaster of the gorgeous house we all just cleaned, together). . . did I mention we were whistling? Deep breath.

And, then - when I realize that I have gone from high dive team to barely treading water - then "mean mommy" comes out. Usually  - thank GOD - not every time and not for long but its oh so easy to start snapping at the littles when things start going down hill.

So, now what?
Do I give up, grab a bowl of ice cream and turn on Wild Kratts? lol - sometimes! But, most of the time I realize how ludicrous my original plan was and immediately throw it out. Forget the linens, laundry, house cleaning, errands and 7 subjects of school work. Lets just read Charlotte's Web together and regroup. Because my job is MOM. Parent. First and foremost I am raising (with my insanely gorgeous husband) little human beings who are soaking up every reaction I have to the situations that arise around me. Am I teaching them the ability to adapt when things don't go as planned? Or I am teaching them that having peace, joy and calmness in our home is not as important as laundry, or a clean bathroom?

Now, don't get me wrong, things need to be done around a home. Groceries need to be purchased, bathrooms do eventually need to be cleaned and schoolwork most certainly needs to be done. But, when I start feeling that I am not longer swimming gracefully and I am treading water trying to catch my breath - then its time to stop and adjust or get rid of  my "perfect plan" My littles watch my every move, they will begin to mirror my reactions when they are faced with their own pressures and uncertainty.  Will they take a deep breath, remain calm and say a prayer? Or will they snap at those around them, take out their frustrations on those they love and feel that they are inadequate?

I am far from a perfect manager of my home but I love my home and the people in it - so I will continue to write out my lists and do my best to have socks and underwear clean and dinner almost on the table. I will NOT, however, allow myself to "freak out" (according to my littles - this is what I do?! lol) when my day gets away from me. When my house is a disaster and its grilled cheese for dinner, again - I will just take a deep breath, say a prayer for patience and grace and keep swimming. Cause as moms, that is one of the most important lessons we can teach our children. Life will always throw us curve balls and we will often feel "out of control" - lets teach these precious little blessings how to just keep swimming . . . . .

This week I plan to post "a day in the life"  - a loose sample of what our day looks raising littles and homeschooling (with maybe a little home management in there somewhere!)

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

 

 

Some additional links you might find helpful!

 

Time Warp Wife

Managers of Their Homes

Fly Lady

 

 

 

 

 The Power of Words

                               

           

          This week the kids and I began our Rice Experiment. For those of you who are not familiar this is an experiment established by Dr Masaru Emoto - a "scientist" who believes the power of words can have an actual effect on physical things. We set up our 3 mason jars with cooked rice and labeled them carefully. We labeled "love", "anger" and "ignore". Now, every day we will speak words to these jars and see if the emotion shown has an effect on the rice. This experiment will last around 60 days and is described here  on YouTube.

So, of course, ever the skeptic - I have some doubts.  How exactly this is - I have no idea. However, it definitely gave me some food for thought (groan, sorry, pun NOT intended!).

Words are powerful. So often we, as moms, have to check ourselves when it comes to speaking to our kids. We know we often fail to speak gently, kindly - lovingly. So, we apologize, make amends, try harder. What made me stop and think though - was - what about our husbands? Do we put the same amount of effort in controlling and holding our tongue in check when it comes to him? After all, he is our best friend. Soul mate.
riiiiiight.
I mean, yes - he is. Absolutely. Bestie. Soul mate, all that.
**Let it be known I adore my husband. **
However, I can promise you, I epically fail when it comes to treating him as the special gift he is to me. By the time he gets home from work, I am exhausted. As stated in a previous post my heart does beat quickly when he walks in the door.. . . . . . for about 2.5 seconds. Then my pot on the stove boils over while the baby is climbing the counter and the kids have discovered a gift from the cat on the playroom floor. Yep. 2.5 seconds is a good day.
It usually goes something like this:
"well, hey there handsome, how was your......GRAB THE BABY! AHHHH - THE STOVE! THE CAT DID WHAT????????"
yep.
My poor husband.
((secretly, I think he loves it, but shhhhhh)
So, lets just go out on a limb here and say - sometimes he doesn't exactly get the best of me.
Which, got me to thinking about my son. He is only 7 but I pray for him. I pray for his future. I pray for his future wife. One day I was praying and a thought just hit me. Do I treat my husband the way his mother prayed I would?
whoa. heavy.
My husband is someone's little boy. He is a man with feelings, pain, love, and yes - despite his superman appearances - he is vulnerable to my harsh words. And, I  - I am the only wife he will ever have. Our relationship is the only marriage he will ever know. What does he think of it? Of course he loves me, unconditionally. But, does he get what he needs from me?
 
Now, I know - we are all maxed out. After a 15/16 hour day with little ones hanging on us and big ones pushing the limits, we may not have what it takes to give backrubs, have hour long, deep conversations or uninterrupted cuddle time.  But, we can still connect; we can still smile. We can hold our tongues, and choose instead to grin and say "Welcome home my love! Everything. Is. Under. Control."
when, obviously, its not. But, hey - that's half the fun!

So, I will for sure keep you posted on our "Rice Experiment" - but maybe for today take a moment and connect with your husband. Smile. Send a sweet text, give an extra hug. Pray for him. Hold his hand. Make eye contact, tell him he is special.
And, then hold on tight and enjoy this crazy ride called life.......together.

Ephesians 4:2-3
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”

Snowflakes & Special Needs

Today, for school, we painted snowflakes. It was a fun, easy art lesson....and then, as is often the case in homeschooling - it turned into so much more.

As we watched the snow falling outside, warm and cozy in our homeschool room, we painted snowflakes. The kids each designed their own using painters tape. Then we painted. As they painted I watched their little eyes, mouths, faces. They were so intent with their creations, so purposeful. When we were done and the paint had dried, we tore off the tape. WOW! How beautiful were each of those creations - to my children, at that moment, there was nothing better. Each snowflake was different. Each was precious. You can see where our lesson was headed. Today they learned the school "stuff", the science behind snow crystals. They also learned how preciously unique they are. How God formed them - purposefully and lovingly. Perfectly. There is no other T, N or C on this earth. They are one in a gazillion.

This was a gentle reminder for me as well. Each of my children is special, unique. Each has needs, special needs. I listened to a speaker recently and her words hit close to home, and stuck. Each child is a special needs child.

adjective: special

1.

better, greater, or otherwise different from what is usual.

 

verb: need

1. 

require (something) because it is essential or very important

When one of our children has special needs, or requires a little more attention, time, energy - we give it freely, lovingly. We understand what is being asked of us and are prepared for the time, energy and hours it will entail. However, sometimes I wonder if we should approach each of our children like that. I know that N, with all of her medical issues, requires more time and attention from me sometimes.

 However, T, my sweet boy - also has special needs. He needs hugs, physical, reassuring love. He sometimes needs an extra few minutes at bedtime, just to connect. He is a special needs child. Something I never realized until I heard this speaker. My littlest, wildest blessing - sometimes she just needs an extra tickle. A walk outside with just momma, a moment of laughter that just she and I share. C is a special needs child.

Each of our children is a snowflake, an unique creation of God. Each has special needs. I took some time after this lesson to quietly think about the special needs of each of my children. It was an eye-opening day. I am so grateful for this lesson, I would have missed so much if I hadn't learned it. Hopefully I can pass it on to you. Ejoy discovering the extraordinary qualities that make each of your children so special, and maybe today, take a moment to discover what their "special needs" are..........

 

Psalm 139:14    I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

 

What's Wrong With You?!

****Warning*****
IF you are the kind of mom who never looses her temper, never yells at her children, never says hurtful things in the heat of the moment - STOP reading. This post is not for you - but, hey - congrats on being perfect.

 I, most certainly am - NOT. So, in keeping with the whole "being real" theme here, I am about to let you in on one of my dirty little secrets. I am not a perfect mom. Oooooh no. I loose my cool, a lot. So, here is an example. No judging here - only grace - please.
My middle blessing is 5 years old and probably one of the sweetest, kindest little girls I have ever met. I wish I could be more like her. That being said, there are definitely moments where I wonder - is she actually here right now? You know, mentally aware of her surroundings??? lol Really, it gets that bad!
Well, on one such morning, things were going from bad to worse. I don't remember details, and to be honest - if I were to tell you they probably wouldn't seem that bad. But, for me, at that moment - my house was is in chaos. I finally had gotten the VERY cranky baby to sleep for her nap when my sweet, sweet little blessing dropped, for the second time that morning, the entire contents of her "purse" outside the baby's door. CRASH! ..........followed, of course, by WAAAAAAH...... you. have. got. to. be. kidding. me.
So, I did what any gentle, loving mother would do. I yelled at her. But, I didn't just yell, I said hurtful things. The reason this story is worth telling though (besides letting you know we are ALL human and in desperate need of grace) is that in the middle of my rant I realized what I was saying and tried so hard to stop. lol Here it is:

"NYLA! ARE YOU KIDDING ME! AHHHHHH! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?????????!!!!!!!!!...............................................
NOTHING! THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. I DON'T KNOW WHY I SAID THAT! YOU ARE A CHILD OF GOD AND ARE PERFECTLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE! MOMMY JUST.......got angry sweetie, and I am sorry."

Yup. Mom. of. the. year. And, her sweet little face crumpled when I had began yelling - she knew she had woken the baby. As I yelled these awful words at her, and then continued to yell my realization that what I was saying was terrible .....my sweet blessing began to grin. Even my 7 year old who was watching giggled a bit. I guess, looking back, it was a bit comical. I was essentially yelling at her while I - yelled at myself. I realized in the middle of my yell that i needed to stop, so I tried! I managed to change my words but my yelling took an extra minute or two!

So, I guess the point in all this is, man, am I thankful for grace and the chance to start over. I "start over" many times a day. lol I also apologize to my kids. A lot. I think its important for them to have the chance to give forgiveness and grace as well as receive it. I am not perfect. But, I adore my children. I will continue to wake up every morning and try again. And again. And again. For the rest of my life. That's what moms do - and the rewards - those sweet little kisses, little arms wrapped around you neck, toothless grins that melt your heart - those rewards carry me through my toughest times.

Here is to your new morning, moms. Use every new day to start over, and - enjoy those little kisses.


Psalms 141:3
Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips

What's in a name?

Believe it or not - I spent a loooooong time trying to come up with a name for this blog! I had a few good ones too, but, alas - they were all taken. Apparently blogging is the new "thing". Blessings, Grace & a Glass of Wine works for me though. It may not work forever, but for now - it fits perfectly.

Blessings. I have MANY. My husband, my children, my home, my family, my health, my friends, my cars, my things, etc. The list is long. Sometimes, I feel SO blessed that I wonder, why? Why have I been given so much, when others have so little, or are hurting so badly. Well, I believe the Creator has blessed me for a REASON. There is a reason for each and every blessing I have. Its what I do with my blessings that is important. Appreciate, love and encourage my husband! Pray for him. Raise my children to be faithful, strong ,compassionate people. Open the doors of my home to those who need a friend. The list goes on. So, when that nagging fear starts, and I begin to question why I am so blessed,  I have a sort of peace about it now.  I know I am blessed for a reason.

Grace. Well, I don't know about you - but I screw up. A lot. Every day actually. I start the day all Mary Poppin'ish and end up all Cruella Deville'ish (I stole that - it was a pic going around facebook, but I LOVED it!)  Every single day I look at my precious children and realize, oops, I shouldn't have yelled like that. I shouldn't have said that. Every. Single. Day. And, every single day - I am given a new chance to start again. A new morning to try to get good ol' Mary to stick around just a teeny bit longer. That's Grace. I am loved and forgiven and I will continue to try, every single new morning I am blessed with. Even if it takes years of Mary Poppin mornings and Cruella Deville nights......

Now, lastly - the glass of wine. Ok, lets be honest. I am a Christian, yes - and many of you don't drink. I get it. However, many of you do! Well,  I am real. I am human. I practice self control. And, most importantly - I LOVE WINE. :)  A glass of wine, though, means so many things to me. When I pour my glass of wine in the evenings, it means my husband is going to walk through the door and make my heart start beating fast....again. Grabbing a bottle before company comes over means friendship, love and laughter. It means conversation, tears, deep thoughts, hugs, board games, snacks, dinner dates.......it means a lot. And, mostly it just means, real. I am a real person, living in a real world.  I love my family. I enjoy a glass of wine.
So, there you have it! The name explained! Its simple, but it works. Enjoy your day today. And, remember - grace means its ok to mess up - you have been given an amazing gift......there is always a TOMORROW!

"But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me."

1 Corinthians 15:10

My first blog....

Hi everyone!
So, this is the first post in my new blog! I have absolutely no idea what I am doing! lol So, for any one out there who has a clue, feel free to come by and have a glass of wine with me while you teach me all things "bloggy" :)
   I decided to start a blog to document my journey as a wife, mom and homeschooler. "Write that down" - my mother always told me ~ and she was right. So many experiences, children's quotes, fun activities, great ideas, triumphs.....and failures. I need to write them down. I want to have more than a few Facebook statuses and pictures to look back on.
So, I am taking my flair for the dramatic and my desire to inspire  (or at least connect!) with other moms and applying it to a blog. Thank you for your patience and for your ideas. I am obviously looking to change the look of the blog a bit, and toy with the name.....but for now - its time to get started!