You've been there.
Its the end of a very long, very bad, horrible, no good day.
Maybe not the whole day. Actually, now that I think about it - the day that prompted this post was busy, long and exhausting but had some pretty good moments in there.
But, oh those last 3 or 4 hours did me in!
Ok. Picture it.
Baby crying in sling, going on 38 min non stop. We are talking back arching, hair pulling (as in, she was pulling mine), booger-smearing crying (yes, that's right. sometimes babies still cry - even when you are wearing them. So fun.)
Dinner taking 3 hours to prepare (due to countless interruptions, not to gourmet cooking)
Please note: will take kids 3 seconds to decide they don't like it.
Toddler screaming because she wants a banana, doesn't want a banana, wants to help cook, doesn't want to wash hands, wants to eat the the dinner prep, doesn't want to eat the dinner. You know the drill.
Big kids "practicing" their instruments, wow, sweet - sweet melodies. Who gave them that harmonica?
Dog barking.
The smoke detector may or may not have gone off at some point.
Ok. So bad evening.
Somehow we made it through dinner. I can not promise that scary mommy didn't make an appearance, or three - but baths and bedtime finally came and I collapsed on the couch in an exhausted heap.
Hubby had only been gone for 3 out of 15 days. Sigh.
I texted a fellow mom - "are your littles asleep yet?"
Her response? "Finally! I am exhausted! House a mess but I can't move!"
Ha ha ha - I could totally relate. My wine glass looked longingly at me from the table but my body wouldn't move.
Guess what moms? We are not alone. When it comes to this motherhood thing we obviously all live different lives. Some of us are married, some single. Some of us work outside the home, others are home with kids all day. Some of us are experienced mommas, others are first timers.
But the one thing we have in common is that we are often doing this parenting thing on our own. As I said each family is different - so for those families that has Dad home with kiddos - this blog post is for you too!
Whether Daddy is deployed, works nights, works two jobs, works all day, has to travel or works from home shut away in an office.........we moms are often left to navigate the long hours alone.
But, we aren't alone! We have each other! Dear friends - its often the glue that holds me together. Knowing that I am not the only one who looses her head sometimes. Knowing that I have a friend who knows my heart, who knows my scary mommy moments, who knows my fears, my joys and my failures and STILL loves me and encourages me.
And, guess what? We were not meant to do this alone! How often do I wish for a sister wife!
**please note - I mean this in all ways but one - I would never share my absolutely phenomenal husband, ever!**
But, oh a sister wife would be pretty cool in all other aspects, no?!
Someone to have coffee with in the morning as I try to function after another sleepless night. Someone to help me wrangle all the littles into the car to head to the playground - or instead just turn them loose in the backyard while we sip wine and stare off into space......together! My mountains of laundry would be higher, but we would definitely fold it faster as we talk our way through it!
Well, a sister wife would be awesome, buuuuuuut not entirely realistic I suppose. So instead, I will cherish those friends I have. And constantly be reaching out for more. I know there are many hours where I will be alone - figuring out this parenting thing on my own.
I know there are many days where you, dear mom, will feel so alone - so exhausted, and so in need of a sister wife. So reach out! Remember, we ALL have days on our own. Whether a single mom, a mom who's hubby works crazy hours or is away from the home - we all need that friend to text us at the end of a long day. That "sister wife" who knows our hearts, who knows our exhaustion and our faults. And still loves us! Some of us moms feel we have to do this on our own if Daddy isn't there.That we need to be independent, super moms. But we don't. We were not designed to!
So, if you know a mom trying to do it all, be it all and yet she needs a "sister wife" - go to her! Be the example. Bring over a bottle of wine and surprise her during the "witching hour" (new moms: thats the horrible time of day between the hours of 4-6 when your child suddenly turns into a mix between the Tasmanian Devil and the Grinch. Its SO fun.)
Or even better bring ice cream for dinner and her kids will love you too!
Text your dear friend at the end of YOUR long day - I am willing to bet hers was long too. We all live different lives - but we all need our friends. Reach out to yours today. The more you reach out the more fulfilled you will be in the end. We are all in this together, our paths are different but oh so similar too. And, never hesitate to smile or connect with another mom.
Its this club we are in, ladies. A very special club, where the members CAN survive alone but will THRIVE with the love and support of other moms.
For some, the holidays mean beautiful Crate & Barrel decorated tables, magazine inspired Christmas trees, hand crafted ornaments, meticulously decorated living rooms and delicious fig infused adult beverages.
This. Is. Not. My. Life.
My holidays mean half-done, gluey Christmas projects drying on cluttered counters. Flour and frosting covered littles with more candy & glitter on the floor than on the mutant looking gingerbread men. My holidays mean a crooked Christmas tree that has a couple breakable ornaments up top - and hundreds of hand-print, foot-print reindeer and snowmen ornaments covering the bottom. Its loud, its messy, its chaos.
Its AWESOME.
Its the season of my life right now.
It has been exactly 3 months since my last blog post. I know this because it was the day I went in to have my 4th amazing, precious little! She is a beautiful miracle and I can not believe it has been 3 months already. Life with 4 has been quite an adjustment! There is a clip going around Facebook - having 4 littles is equivalent to drowning and someone hands you a baby. Ha ha - yep, sometimes that is spot on!
But, there is a very important lesson I am finally, FINALLY learning. And, it has only taken me 8 years of motherhood and 4 children to even slightly grasp.
My life has become sectioned into seasons. Phases if you prefer that term but, I like seasons.
I remember when my first little was very tiny. I remember all the worries. How would I ever get him to sleep longer at night? How would we ever transition to a sippy cup? There is no WAY on heaven and earth I will ever get him to give up the binky!!!!
But, he did. He is not an 8 year old who nurses every 2 hours, requires a bottle at bedtime and is attached to a plastic sucking nipple. Amazing.
Then the 2nd little came along. She was a bit more, um, challenging? Now the same questions, challenges and fears started to rise again. I still doubted that my child would ever outgrow the binky. I would love to say it was my stellar parenting, my firm resolve and obvious knack for discipline.......but - nope. My sweet little eventually passed through that stage and moved on.
I am realizing my life is, from beginning to end, a series of seasons. As I try desperately to hold on to the tiny little dimpled fists, and willing them to stay tiny, I am realizing that it doesn't work that way. My season of holding tiny, dimpled fists will eventually be over.
My season of college life, parties, staying up late, living pretty carefree - that season has passed. But, oh man, it was awesome. But, OH MAN, I would not want it again. My season of being a newlywed is over as well. That was fun! But, it definitely had its challenges as well. I much prefer the relationship I have now - over a decade later - with my husband to the one we started out with.
Each child goes through seasons or phases as well. The night terrors, the pooping in their pants, the tantrums, waking up before the sun, two hour bedtime routines, struggles in school, struggles with friends, struggles with behaviors, separation anxiety and so many many more. While you're in the middle of some of these its hard to see them as a phase but they are! They don't last.
My seasons are a little different than my children's. Mine are more like the season of my messy, unorganized home, The never ending piles of laundry. The bickering with my husband over finances or a child's challenging behavior. The lack of socializing with my long lost friends. The feelings of being overwhelmed, or lonely. The season of lost identity. The season of exhaustion.
These are seasons, dear moms. Its a phase in our lives. And, just like our children's phases of bedtime struggles - it feels sometimes like this will never end. But, I promise - it will. Our sweet, precious littles are growing and changing every day. I blinked and my sweet baby boy turned 8.
I went out last night for the football game (go Pats!) and enjoyed some time with friends - while our ridiculous amount of children laughed and ran around us. To be fair, I was still in my pj's and hadn't showered, but I WENT OUT! And, had fun!
My husband and I collapse on the couch these days after getting 4 kiddos to bed. There will be a time where we once again chase each other around the kitchen table - but right now, the only thing we are moving that fast for is a toddler who is removing her diaper.
That is my season. And, with the ups and downs I will embrace it. Its temporary, just like winter or Christmas. Spring, summer, fall - will come.
Enjoy this season. Enjoy the present. Remember the challenges of today will not last. New challenges will come tomorrow, but you will triumph over those just as you overcame the past ones.
I know I will look back and miss this. THIS SEASON. But, I know I will be in a new season with its own blessings and challenges.
So, hold on tight to this crazy ride. Celebrate the season you are in at this moment. It won't last. The good and bad will eventually end, and - as in our brave, determined fashion -we will continue on this journey one day at a time.
Tis the Season........
