~Beauty is in the eye of a child~

                                       

                                        
My middle daughter is 5 years old and one of our recent favorite activities is dancing around the living room to the soundtrack of the new Disney movie "Frozen". We especially love the song "Let It Go" and waltz around like a couple of crazy Frozen princesses. Well - the other night we collapsed breathless and giggling on the couch (ok, fine - I was breathless - she was giggling) and she looked at me and said -
 "Oh mommy! You are SO beautiful!"

PRESS PAUSE

I can react a couple ways here but only one will preserve my daughter's image of me as her mother and her as a young woman.
I could look at her and say -
       "oh yeah, goooorgeous. All I need is a few highlights, a pound taken off my eyebrows and to stand on my head to even things out! Then, my sweetheart,  I will entertain the beautiful thought."
And, there - in that few seconds my sweet daughter will realize that her momma is not the beautiful momma that she loves and adores more than anything. She will realize that even though in her eyes I am beautiful, in my eyes I am in desperate need of make up, repairs and a gym membership.

As moms we kind of go through a lot, emotionally and physically. Sleepless nights, human beings growing inside of us (exiting in the most terrifying, miraculous event of our lives), worry lines, laugh lines, no time for hair appointments and lets just add to that the inability to keep an outfit clean. Sigh. Of course we want to set these naive little ones straight! "NO, Mommy is most certainly NOT beautiful right now. IF you would stop waking me up at night and wiping your boogers on me I may stand half a chance!"

But, moms - guess what? They are waaaatching us! Our sweet, impressionable daughters. They are watching our every move, listening to our words - taking it all to heart and tucking it away. It will be brought out again. Our hearts will sink as we hear our beautiful little blessing, at 10 years old, look in the mirror and say she's getting fat. Or when our 9 year old thinks she really needs make up because she isn't pretty. This will begin a lifetime of that nagging doubt about herself. When a mom has doubts, a daughter mimics. After all, to a little girl - her mom is the first image of what being a woman is all about.

And, guess what? Moms with sons - we are not in the clear! I will sometimes catch my 7 yo son watching me put on make up -  he'll shyly grin and walk away - but he watches and hears me too! He will hear my complaining and will slowly discover that I am not the beautiful mom he adores, that physically I am far from perfect. My son, the little one we are trying to raise into a man. Am I teaching him that beauty is not the picture perfect Disney princess? Am I teaching him that beauty is the woman who loves with all her strength, prays with all her heart and works tirelessly every day for her family?

Now, here is  a little disclaimer - this post is not saying stop putting on make up, forget trying to be healthy or exercise - or that yoga pants 24/7 is a good thing (maybe just 14/7?) I am a real mom, remember?! I am just saying that its something to keep in mind when commenting on our appearances in front of our littles.
As a mom to 2 little girls and a little boy I made the conscious decision a few years ago to try to never complain about my body, or the way I was made, in front of my children. My body type, style, my aging, my weight, my GOD designed body. I may complain to my sweet husband occasionally but not in front of my girls - or my little boy. How can I teach them that they are beautiful, unique creations and in the same breath discredit the Maker by criticizing the way I was made?

Fast Forward- here was my response to my daughters amazingly sweet declaration - "Thank you sweetie, you are beautiful too!"

So, moms, remember - to your children, you are the most breathtakingly, beautiful woman in their world (for now anyway!). These impressionable little girls need a momma who is a strong, confident woman, one who sees the beauty in the body she has at this very moment, the body she was given. These sweet little boys need learn what true beauty is - and their very first example is mommy. You are beautiful mom, choose to believe it and act on it - and that will set the path for generations to come.

Psalm 139:13-14

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

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