Just Keep Swimming!

 

               I use to think that drowning was only something one could do in water. That feeling of barely being able to keep your head up - and this incredible weight just pulling you down......water right? Um, yeah - nope. Sometimes, ok - a lot of times, I feel that by 10am I am just treading water  - when I woke up at 7am ready to join the high dive team. How did I go from here to there in just 3 hours?
For those of you who don't know, I am somewhat of a control freak. I like to drive - even when my husband is with me! No, its not because he is a little more "cautious" when taking turns.....or accelerating, or because he comes to a complete stop at a stop sign and then looks left, right, then left, right and left again......(hey man, I'm a momma, I have places to be!!) I don't mind flying but I do have that momentary hesitation that just maybe I could fly the plane better...... and when it comes to getting the kids geared up for playing in the snow - there is "a certain way" to do it! There just is!
Okay, so I have some minor control issues - something that made perfect sense when I finally realized it a few weeks ago... But, this is something that clearly has an affect on my day to day life.

Sometimes its a constant struggle to have things I "need" to do, boxes on my list that NEED to be checked off. I need to get the laundry all folded and put away, I NEED to change the linens, I NEED to get groceries, I NEED to get 7 subjects covered in school today, I NEED to figure out dinner. I NEED to get this house cleaned up!
So, at 7am - there it is. My schedule and list for the day. Written out perfectly, planned and ready to be put into action. So, by 10am, when my head starts pounding, and we are still in pjs trying to at least get the dishwasher emptied. . . . I feel that slow heavy pressure start. This is not what I planned. We were supposed to be dressed and cleaning up the house and folding laundry while whistling and singing and we were supposed to be crankin' out this school work while the baby happily played (without making a disaster of the gorgeous house we all just cleaned, together). . . did I mention we were whistling? Deep breath.

And, then - when I realize that I have gone from high dive team to barely treading water - then "mean mommy" comes out. Usually  - thank GOD - not every time and not for long but its oh so easy to start snapping at the littles when things start going down hill.

So, now what?
Do I give up, grab a bowl of ice cream and turn on Wild Kratts? lol - sometimes! But, most of the time I realize how ludicrous my original plan was and immediately throw it out. Forget the linens, laundry, house cleaning, errands and 7 subjects of school work. Lets just read Charlotte's Web together and regroup. Because my job is MOM. Parent. First and foremost I am raising (with my insanely gorgeous husband) little human beings who are soaking up every reaction I have to the situations that arise around me. Am I teaching them the ability to adapt when things don't go as planned? Or I am teaching them that having peace, joy and calmness in our home is not as important as laundry, or a clean bathroom?

Now, don't get me wrong, things need to be done around a home. Groceries need to be purchased, bathrooms do eventually need to be cleaned and schoolwork most certainly needs to be done. But, when I start feeling that I am not longer swimming gracefully and I am treading water trying to catch my breath - then its time to stop and adjust or get rid of  my "perfect plan" My littles watch my every move, they will begin to mirror my reactions when they are faced with their own pressures and uncertainty.  Will they take a deep breath, remain calm and say a prayer? Or will they snap at those around them, take out their frustrations on those they love and feel that they are inadequate?

I am far from a perfect manager of my home but I love my home and the people in it - so I will continue to write out my lists and do my best to have socks and underwear clean and dinner almost on the table. I will NOT, however, allow myself to "freak out" (according to my littles - this is what I do?! lol) when my day gets away from me. When my house is a disaster and its grilled cheese for dinner, again - I will just take a deep breath, say a prayer for patience and grace and keep swimming. Cause as moms, that is one of the most important lessons we can teach our children. Life will always throw us curve balls and we will often feel "out of control" - lets teach these precious little blessings how to just keep swimming . . . . .

This week I plan to post "a day in the life"  - a loose sample of what our day looks raising littles and homeschooling (with maybe a little home management in there somewhere!)

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

 

 

Some additional links you might find helpful!

 

Time Warp Wife

Managers of Their Homes

Fly Lady