The End.......

                                            

How does one begin a blog on the END? Especially an hour before leaving to go to the hospital to have a baby?? I mean, the END - sounds kind of morbid? Sad? Negative? 

Well, let me tell you - right before a baby comes moms think. Moms get a wee tad bit emotional. Moms know the extreme change that is about to take place in our universe and sometimes these moms need to get up at 3:30 to blog about it! ha ha ha

In all seriousness, it has been a very fast 9 months. A new little life is about to take its first breath. A first cry, a first glimpse at a tiny little one's face......so many firsts are about to take place. 

But, this is also a big last. This is our last baby. ((barring any major "oops" of course!))

Baby number 4 - what a lifetime of blessings we have been given. If you had asked me in high school or college if this is where I saw myself in the future - military wife, homeschooling mom, FOUR kids? I would have called you bat sh*! crazy! 

But, what a wild, amazing ride its been. I have loved (for the most part!) being pregnant, birthing babies, nursing little ones, bathing squirming little bodies and chasing toddlers. 

While I still have a couple toddlers to chase, this is the end of my birthing babies phase of life. Whoa. 

That's a big deal. As a mom, you know when you are done having children. Most women just know. But that urge, that feeling of "oh, what if" when you see a newborn baby or remember the tiny hiccups that took over your belly - it never goes away, does it? 

I guess its exactly how God intended it to be, because the miracle of growing a life in your womb is hands down the most incredible experience in the whole world. Not always pleasant or comfortable - but incredible. 

But, all things must end. It is one of the definite's of life - one of the concrete things we can count on. In this life, there is a beginning and an end. There will be a last baby. There will be a last time that I nurse an infant, change a diaper and wipe a nose. There will be a last time that my daughter needs me to dry her hair for her, and a last time that my son needs me to fix him a snack. My crazy toddler will not always run into my arms calling "mama", very soon she will switch to "mom" just like the big kids. 

And, there will be a last time that I feel these little kicks, this little squirming body within mine. 

Today is that day for me. 

It could make me sob, thinking about it. 

Or, it could not. 

I could look at all these emotional lasts and know, without a doubt - I have done my best to cherish these moments. To be thankful for the gift of these precious moments, memories and experiences. I could look at the phase of my life that's ending and let it consume me with regret or sadness, or....... I could embrace the one that is ahead. 

The one where my littles become - not so little. Where I see them grow into the children, teens and young adults that they are destined to be. 

I have loved watching them learn to sit, walk, talk and play - why stop now? 

As these little people enter the next phase in their life with courage and excitement - I will try to do the same. 

I will cherish these last precious moments of watching my large belly morph in front of me, cry tears of joy when I meet this little miracle today and step out into the new and exciting journey that lies ahead of me.  

I will be grateful for each day that I get to watch these littles grow into amazing big little people. 

I will breathe and trust that in this life, when there is a beginning - there will also always be an end. The end comes. Whether we are ready or not. This life is a gift, every single day is a precious, amazing gift. This life is a ride, a crazy, amazing ride. And, yes - the end to everything will eventually come. 

Thank God we always have the next "phase" to look forward to.