Don't Let It Show!

                                                

  

"The face is the window to the soul" ...... yeaaaah. That's awesome.
See, this has always been a BIG problem for me. I remember working as a teacher's assistant when I was 20 and being called into the Principal's office. I had messed up. Don't remember what I did - and yes, even at 20 I was a bit oh, lets just say - unpredictable! Anyway, the principal just informed me that whatever I had said or done was not the way things went around there. I, clearly, disagreed with my chastisement but kept my mouth shut and nodded. As I was allowed to leave she stopped me at the door with a gentle, but firm warning.....
"Be careful, your feelings are written all over your face"

Gulp.
Heh, heh. Okaaaay. That was the very first time I realized that my innermost thoughts and feelings actually showed. All. Over. My. Face. And, I didn't intend them to!
Well, I wouldn't make that mistake again!
Except I do. Every single day.

My husband is a genius. I don't know how he always knows. Even when I say "I'm FINE." or......."That's fine" or, "Whatever" - he can still tell I'm lying! And, he calls me out on it! Then we have to talk and oh man. How does he figure it out?

And my kids, lol - oh I can stop those adorable littles in their tracks with the raise of an eyebrow. What power I have with them. I can make them grin and run into my arms with a loving smile. Or, I can reduce them to feeling devastated and alone with a simple angry, awful stare.

At the grocery store, the lady who just nearly ran  my cart and my children and me into the stack of bread - oh - let me just tell you the nasty look she got!
Clearly I have perfected the art of expressing myself without making a sound. In fact, I think most of us are pretty good at this.

My 5 yo little is a beautiful spirit. She is someone I adore, and is going to become an amazing woman someday. Unfortunately, she has developed my little habit of "face-making". Whenever my little gets in trouble, she will walk away with angry eyebrows and a huge roll of the eyes....all the while muttering made up words under her breath. WHAT?
Who is this child???? She can't do that!
Obviously, I stop her every time (intentional parenting!!) and call her back to me. This last time we spoke about how the problem wasn't only the disrespect she was showing to me, it was about how the feelings in her heart were coming through on her face. It wasn't a face issue, or even a self control issue. It was a heart issue.

(side note: My 7yo at this point chipped in with his suggestion, taken directly from Disney's Frozen. "All you have to do is conceal it, don't feel it - don't let it show! Let it go, let it go................"
ha ha ha, love these kids!)

Well, anyway - so we are working on this. Together. As a family. I believe its important for my kids to know - Mommy's not perfect either. My heart is so often in the wrong place - and when it takes over my face and affects other people - I need to stop and regain control. I have to work on self control every single day. Not to stop myself from flying off the handle, no. Self control is a much sneakier adversary. We loose control every single day - multiple times - without even realizing it. The looks I give people, the words I mutter under my breath while I am driving. The spoon I slam down on the counter. The door I shut a little too hard. The words that slip out when I am upset with my littles.
My kids know I am working on self control. But, today I am going to focus on my face. It does, after all, reflect my heart. I am going to try to smile at my kids all day long. Even when I don't feel like smiling at them!
 I am going to grin and forgive that crazy lady at the grocery store (maybe let out a little "beep beep!" just so she knows we are in front of her?!) Today I am going to try to stop the anger from taking over my heart - and appearing on my face.

Words are a powerful weapon, but sometimes we can hurt with only a look. I am trying to teach this very important lesson to my children and therefore - its a lesson I need to relearn myself.
Good luck today moms. Take a breath,  we are all a work in progress.....and our kids need to know that. Smile at your children today. Let them see that your heart is happy. Smile at the lady at the grocery store, she may be in a world of hurt all her own. Even if you don't feel it at first - sometimes it takes a conscious effort to change our heart -  try to put the smile on your face. You may be amazed at the reactions you will get.